Hello, fine blog readers, hope you had a good weekend.
I have a new internet law formulation to share with you. It is borne out of many years of intarweb page viewing.
Are you ready? Brilliant. Here it is:
The amount of crazy in an individual is directly proportional to the number of animated .gif images on his or her personal webpage.
That is to say, the more of Teh Crazy a person has been infected with, the more flashing animated images on his personal web page.
If that’s making your brain hurt too much, here’s a diagram that illustrates this formulation:
As you can see, the more animated .gif images one has on his or her website, the more likely they are to be batpoop insane in the membranes.
Case in point:
This guy is a religious guy, a Christian, but with conspiracy theorist leanings that go so far to say “the Zionists” are evil harbingers and leaders of the New World Order. His website offers the sale of his numerous nutty books, as well as some old Nazi favorites like Protocols of the Elders of Zion, a well-known forgery attempting to paint Jews as the root cause of all the world’s problems. Gif’s Law of Teh Crazies correctly predicts this man to be bat-poop insane crazy; his animated .gif image count racks up to 12 on his home page alone – that’s off the charts! That’s more than an asylum’s fill of Teh Crazy.
Oh, but Gif’s Law of Teh Crazies applies to more than just religious people. Take a look at British car dealer Ling Valentine. Ling is a woman – as far as we can tell – but she’s just a little…umm….out in left field? Before I point you to her website, please be warned it may cause seizures and partial blindness, hardening of the eyeballs, blind spots, and may trigger severe allergic reactions, causing your eyes to bleed. You may wish to wear protective goggles, and have your significant other standing next to you in case you seizure out. Ok, ready? Here it is:
Ok, ok, I’m sorry! Please forgive me for burning those permanent images into your forever-scarred eyeballs!
Gif’s Law of Teh Crazies correctly predicts Ling to be off the charts on the scale of crazy. Too many animated .gif images to count! On that website, thar be dragons I wish ne’er to disturb.
What websites do you visit, fine blog readers? Do you run any websites yourself? Always keep in mind Gif’s Law of Teh Crazies, lest you find yourself in the Intarwebs loony bin ghetto heap.
