A few years ago I wrote a blog on the occasion of Father's Day that got more clicks than anything else I've ever written. In that blog I acknowledged that many of my readers might have a difficult relationship with their biological father, or the memory of him, but I urged them to thank God for their father anyway and I explained why.
I meant to write another blog for the following Mother's Day, but for all kinds of reasons, I never did. So today, I'm going to correct that mistake, and I hope this blesses someone out there.
The word "mother" appears 306 times in the New King James Bible, and the most famous mother in the Bible is, of course, Mary the mother of Jesus.
I believe that Mary does deserve a tremendous amount of love and respect for all kinds of reasons. But long before Mary, there was Eve, and it says in Genesis 3:20; "And Adam called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living."
Imagine that.
Eve was the "mother of all living." That means you can and should think of Eve as your mom, and so can and should I.
Like all moms, Eve made some terrible mistakes that every single one of her children continues to suffer from down to this very day.
But also like all moms, Eve deserves to be forgiven for her mistakes, because she was only human, she was doing her best, there was a lot she didn't know, and there was a lot she didn't even know she didn't know.
Also, like all moms (and also all dads) she deserves to be forgiven for her mistakes because the simple fact that if she had not given birth to her children, who went on to give birth to other children, for generation after generation up to and including you and me, none of us would exist. If we didn't exist, we wouldn't be here to suffer the negative effects of Eve's mistakes. We wouldn't even know about them.
All of these things I've just gone through about Eve are also true about my biological mother, and yours.
I know that for some people, Mother's Day is one of the most difficult days of the year because they had (or maybe still have) a difficult relationship with their mother.
Even if you have a great relationship with your mom, or the memory of your mom, there are probably some things you need to forgive her for. That was certainly true in my case.
My mom was deeply imperfect.
The product of a broken home and many childhood traumas, there was a lot she didn't know about how to be a mother to small children. There was also much more she didn't know about how to be the mother of teenagers and young adults. To make things worse, we lived far away from our extended family, so there was no one she could go to for advice about how to do the things she didn't know how to do. There were friends she had who she asked for advice, and some of that advice was good, but a lot of it wasn't. Even when I was a little kid, and continuing almost until the day she died, I was often horrified, outraged and flabbergasted to find myself in some of the messed-up situations that resulted from all this.
My mother made many mistakes, and I suffered a lot from the consequences of those mistakes.
But she also did a lot of things that were very good for me, and she protected me against many of the things that could have been terribly harmful to me.
When I was a kid, and even more so later in life, I was aware of the fact that a lot of my friends had mothers who were much higher functioning than mine was. But I was also aware of the fact that a lot of my friends had mothers who were much lower functioning than mine was. More than a few of my childhood companions didn't have a mom at all, or they had a stepmother who was neglectful of them, or worse, really mean and abusive. I was, and still am, deeply grateful not to be in that situation.
To sum up, on balance, I know my mom was above average in most respects, and in those areas where she was below average, it had the effect of helping me become the person God wanted me to be.
In this context, one of the most comforting verses in the Bible comes to mind, Psalms 27:10; "When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me."
Also relevant in this context is Ephesians 6:1-3; "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”"
This is, of course, a reference to the Fifth Commandment, which appears along with the rest of the Ten Commandments in Exodus chapter 20.
And that, brothers and sisters, is the bottom line we all need to remember on Mother's Day, Father's Day, and every day in between.
All of us had mothers who were imperfect, just like Eve, who was the "Mother of all the living" was imperfect. But the mother we all had is the mother that God in His infinite wisdom, mercy, power and authority, ordained for us to have. He knew what kind of mother we needed in order for us to fulfill the perfect plans and purposes He had for all of our lives.
By honoring our parents, we're also honoring our heavenly Father, and there is no relationship more important than our relationship with Him.
So with all that in mind brothers and sisters, I hope you'll join me this Mother's Day (and EVERY day) in honoring your mom, giving thanks to God for her, because with all of her imperfections and mistakes, she IS (and always will be) your one and only mom. More importantly, she is (and always will be) a manifestation of God's love for you.
Of course, everything I've said about your own mother in this blog also applies to the mother of your spouse and the mother of your children as well, if you're blessed to have any.
Happy Mother's Day.
(Aaron with his mother and the mother of his sons)