What the world needs... (part 2)

...is for men to be servants.

Last week I wrote of Art Katz' testimony; how God showed this adamant Jewish atheist that what the world needs is for men to wash one another's feet.

I had a similar experience -- not as exciting or extraordinary as Art's -- but nonetheless a real revelation from the heart of God, how He showed me that what the world needs is for men to be servants.

Several years ago, I was enjoying life -- I had great ambitions, I had big plans and some were already in motion, I was living life to fullest pleasure via diving head first into sin. I started spending less time with the Lord and more time doing my own thing. Eventually, God's place in my life became smaller and smaller; taking a distant 3rd place behind sin and my ambitions.

But one night, the Lord gave me a dream and followed up with a revelation that will remain with me the rest of my life. It changed my outlook on life to this day and I hope it changes yours as well.

In the dream, my dad, Bob, my older brother, Jesse, and myself were all walking in a place filled with grassy hills and fields. It was sunny and warm outside, a breeze was blowing around. The grassy hills spread out as far as I could see, it was a beautiful day.



The 3 of us walked up on a small hill with a large oak atop it. Under the shade of the tree, we saw several opened, empty graves. We all walked up to them and stared at them, as if there was something we needed to do.

My dad walked up to the first empty grave. I looked to see what he was doing with this grave, and as I watched in great horror, he lied down in the grave and passed away -- he was dead! I started weeping bitterly, my dad was very close to me and to see him go to his death right before my eyes was horrifying; it brought on a sadness only death could bring.

As I stood there horrified, my older brother Jesse walked up to another grave. I could barely see him through my tears. He lied down in one end of the grave, and lied there motionless. I screamed and wailed, crying to see both dad and brother die before my eyes, one after another.

Suddenly, this feeling came on me that my time was up. I didn't want to go, but I knew I had to -- it was my time to die. I had so much left to live for, I thought to myself. I hadn't completed my ambitions, I still needed to accomplish things, I still had to make a name for myself. Nonetheless, I was forced to lie down in the grave, God was telling me it was time.

I sat down in the grave and looked around. I knew as soon as I set my head down in the grave, I would pass away. I was still crying over the death of my brother and my dad, but I was trying to gain some composure and dignity for what I knew would be my last moments here on earth.

A new feeling came over me: a sense of finality. I thought back and reflected on my life. My sin came to mind...how could I be so foolish?! Why did I waste my life with that junk? "What a waste of a life!," I thought to myself. The tears kept flowing. I thought back on my ambitions that were so important to me. What a shame I wasted so much of my little time here preoccupied with ambition. I can tell you from experience, folks, your ambitions and the great human things you accomplish on earth -- your job, how much money you made, the name you made for yourself, how well esteemed you were by your peers, how intelligent you became -- are all worthless when you're on your deathbed. This revelation became clear as I held on for my last few moments.

My last thought was this: if I could do things over again, I'd do it differently! I wasted so much time with my own desires and ambitions. I lived a self-centered life, living for myself. Nobody likes a man who lives only for himself. I thought, if God could just let me live life on earth one more time, I'd live for God and live to serve others. That would make for a better, more fulfilling life compared to this wreck I lived! Instead of trying to make my own life pleasurable and great in the eyes of men, I'd go for the humble route: serving God and serving others.

And with that final thought, through my tears, I laid back and rested my head on the grave and passed away.

Immediately, I woke up from the dream; my pillow soaked from tears. I prayed immediately - "Master, what do you want me to do?" I didn't get an answer.

I stumbled downstairs, still tears in my eyes from this moving experience. As I made my way down, I heard a song playing on my computer. Either somebody was on my computer or I must have left music playing the night before, I thought to myself. The song was an old, 1970's circa Messianic song by the music group LAMB, called The Night is Far Spent -- I had heard the song before and, being too soft and old-fashioned for my tastes, I went to turn it off.

As I reached to turned off the song, God stopped me. He told me to wait and listen. As the song played, the words struck me and I began to crumble,

"The night is far spent
The day is close at hand
When Jesus comes
As the Son of Man

He will come quickly
No man knows the time
To take his children home
To mansions in the sky

So let us walk honestly in His sight
Shedding the old ways, the ones we did in the night
Let's put on new clothes, the armor of his light
And let's do his Word, before the end of time"

As I heard those words, God broke me at the foundations of my spirit. God revealed to me, through the dream and through this song, what's important here. Our Shepherd who loves his sheep wants us to do his Word and shed those old ways of darkness that our flesh desires. We don't have a lot of time here on earth -- why waste it on things of the world? Those things bring neither happiness or fulfillment, when all is said and done.

This was a revelation no man could speak to me; only God himself could craft such a thing to break my self-centered life at its core and turn me for the better. Once those barriers were down, God flooded into my life.

To this day, I live for the Lord and serve him best I can. I love others and serve them before myself -- God has put in me a servant's heart. It is no wonder Messiah said that the greatest commandments in Torah are to love God and love others -- now that I have lived the servant's life, I have come to know that real joy and actual happiness is gained NOT through pleasure or human accomplishments, but through living for God and loving others. There is a hidden joy in the servant's life, and this little secret God revealed to me is one I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

When my time on earth is up, I know that I will rest my head on that deathbed, not in sadness or bitterness, but this time in comfort and joy, knowing this life was lived serving God and others -- what better way to spend a lifetime!

-Judah the servant