Raise My Soul, Oh Lord

Dear Kineti readers, I’m exhausted.

I don’t have time for anything anymore. Between kids, Chavah, work, tech talks, weekly music for sabbath, I’m finding less and less time for myself. Less time for the things I enjoy.

Earlier this year I went to Las Vegas for a software developer’s conference. I enjoyed the trip very much. As I look back on why I enjoyed it so much, I think it’s mostly because I actually had some time to myself. Even though it was a work-related trip, there really wasn’t any working. I didn’t have to be dad. I didn’t have to be husband. I didn’t have to be babysitter. I didn’t have to be music leader. I didn’t have to be anything. And, phew, damn, that was nice.

I don’t know what it is. I used to have time to learn new stuff, time to read, time to live. I am feeling like I no longer have time to do anything. Man.

Part of it is my job; this year has been the most busy, the most pressure-filled, weighing me down more than any other time in my life.

I’m exhausted. I am getting old. I am getting less smart. I am growing dissatisfied with this arrangement.


  1. I know the feeling. Between my day job & the book I'm co-writing, I don't really have much in the way of downtime. My entire weekend (minus a few meals and an evening with the kids) was spent writing. Now I'm about to go to bed and then Monday morning and off to work.

    And you think you're old. That's funny. ;-)

  2. I'm starting to get a little "defensive" of my time. I sometimes spread myself too thin, and being busy is not being productive often, nor is it beneficial or helpful for the Lord's kingdom. I'm called to be a parent and husband, so I have to lay down often those things that are "fun" or "exciting" to me. Still have to work - have to pay the bills, and part of being that dad and husband thing.... ;)

    It's always a balancing act.

  3. I've been through a couple of horrific periods. I feel for you. Hope time gets better and more abundant for you.


  4. I'm pulling for you, bro. Keep staying connected to Hashem and Yeshua (and family and community too!).

  5. It's a load being a husband, dad and leading praise and worship let alone Chavah, Kineti and all your other interests. Keep Shabbat, it's a a day each week to rest with your family, pray, study His Word. You're really young yet, enjoy your family. The years race by quickly!

    Older than you,