…and we’re back

Holy blog posting hiatus, Batman! It’s been a week without blog posts – something I haven’t done in several years! – but I’ve got a good excuse: I was up in the northern Minnesota wilderness without internet access for the whole week.

So, can you fine blog readers forgive me? Am I back in your good graces?

Good. Aw, shucks, you’re too kind.

I meant to write one of those, “Hey, I’m going on vacation [again]” posts so you wouldn’t all think I’ve fallen off the face of the earth. But alas, before I could write it, I was struck with a case of Strep Throat. Or as I like to call it, Mother Nature’s Own Sadistic Torture of the Human Throat.

If you’ve never had Strep, imagine being stabbed in the throat with a dull knife. Then someone pouring acid down your gulper. Then pouring ammonia all over it. Now multiple that by 10x. That’s kind of what it feels like. With this kind of pain, you can forget swallowing your saliva – your choice is either to take up spittin’ like a southern tobacco chewer, spittoon and all, or drool like a dog eyeing that cube of cheddar over his nose.

But oh no, Mother Nature isn’t done with this Strep Throat thing. Your lymph nodes swell to the size of golf balls, giving you tonsillitis, closing your breathing pipes to the size of a small Starbucks sipping straw. So you can’t breathe very well and you tend to get a little panicky when you can’t breathe. And since you get panicky, you can’t really sleep.

To recap: sore throat from hell + swollen lymph nodes + tonsillitis + difficulty breathing + no swallowing saliva + no sleep.

Doesn’t make for a great vacation.

Fortunately it lasted only 3-4 days and I was back in action for the rest of the otherwise great vacation, the last one I’ll be taking this year. I promise. I know how much you miss me, and some of you rely on my blog posts for your very livelihood, even refreshing the page every 15 seconds, 24/7, hoping, just hoping, for a new post on the Kineti blog. Some of you sit around the dinner table and bring up this blog on your big flat screen, family gathered ‘round, as wholesome entertainment. Some of you take your monitors, with Kineti L’tzion loaded into Firefox, to the local county fair for the enjoyment and satisfaction of others, displaying proudly your bestest, favoritist blog evar. Yes, you, fine blog readers, rely on this blog. Therefore, no more vacations for me! I will dedicate myself to fine and grander content selflessly for the benefit of you, the Intarweb Viewing Audience.

Now, fine blog readers, with shabbat quickly approaching, I’ll return you to your normal insanities and sign off with, “shabbat shalom!” and for you US readers, “Happy Independence Day!”